🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?