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Facing refusal, especially when it recurs often, is far from pleasant. An editor is declining your work, delivering a firm “Not interested.” As a writer, I am well acquainted with rejection. I started submitting manuscripts 50 years back, right after completing my studies. Over the years, I have had several works rejected, along with book ideas and countless short stories. During the recent two decades, concentrating on commentary, the refusals have multiplied. On average, I face a setback frequently—amounting to more than 100 each year. Overall, rejections in my profession number in the thousands. At this point, I could have a advanced degree in handling no’s.

So, does this seem like a self-pitying outburst? Far from it. As, now, at the age of 73, I have come to terms with being turned down.

In What Way Did I Achieve This?

A bit of background: By this stage, almost each individual and others has rejected me. I’ve never kept score my acceptance statistics—that would be quite demoralizing.

For example: lately, an editor turned down 20 submissions one after another before accepting one. In 2016, no fewer than 50 editors declined my manuscript before one gave the green light. Subsequently, 25 representatives declined a project. An editor even asked that I submit articles less often.

The Seven Stages of Setback

In my 20s, every no hurt. I felt attacked. I believed my creation being rejected, but myself.

As soon as a submission was rejected, I would begin the “seven stages of rejection”:

• Initially, surprise. How could this happen? How could editors be ignore my talent?
• Second, denial. Maybe you’ve rejected the wrong person? It has to be an mistake.
• Then, dismissal. What do editors know? Who made you to hand down rulings on my labours? They’re foolish and the magazine is subpar. I reject your rejection.
• Fourth, frustration at those who rejected me, then frustration with me. Why do I do this to myself? Could I be a martyr?
• Subsequently, negotiating (preferably mixed with false hope). What does it require you to see me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, despair. I lack skill. Additionally, I can never become accomplished.

So it went over many years.

Excellent Examples

Naturally, I was in fine company. Stories of creators whose manuscripts was originally declined are legion. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Almost every renowned author was originally turned down. Because they managed to overcome rejection, then possibly I could, too. Michael Jordan was not selected for his high school basketball team. The majority of Presidents over the last 60 years had earlier failed in races. The actor-writer claims that his movie pitch and attempt to star were turned down 1,500 times. “I take rejection as a wake-up call to rouse me and get going, not backing down,” he remarked.

The Seventh Stage

Later, upon arriving at my senior age, I entered the last step of setback. Peace. Now, I more clearly see the multiple factors why a publisher says no. Firstly, an reviewer may have already featured a comparable article, or be planning one underway, or simply be considering a similar topic for a different writer.

Alternatively, unfortunately, my pitch is uninteresting. Or maybe the editor believes I lack the credentials or reputation to fit the bill. Or isn’t in the market for the content I am peddling. Maybe was busy and scanned my piece too quickly to recognize its quality.

Feel free call it an epiphany. Everything can be declined, and for numerous reasons, and there is pretty much little you can do about it. Many reasons for rejection are permanently not up to you.

Manageable Factors

Some aspects are your fault. Let’s face it, my pitches and submissions may occasionally be poorly thought out. They may be irrelevant and appeal, or the point I am trying to express is insufficiently dramatised. Alternatively I’m being obviously derivative. Maybe a part about my punctuation, especially dashes, was offensive.

The essence is that, despite all my decades of effort and setbacks, I have managed to get widely published. I’ve authored multiple works—the initial one when I was middle-aged, the next, a memoir, at retirement age—and more than 1,000 articles. These works have been published in magazines big and little, in local, national and global platforms. My first op-ed appeared in my twenties—and I have now submitted to that publication for half a century.

Still, no major hits, no book signings at major stores, no appearances on TV programs, no speeches, no book awards, no big awards, no international recognition, and no national honor. But I can more easily handle rejection at 73, because my, admittedly modest successes have eased the blows of my setbacks. I can choose to be thoughtful about it all today.

Instructive Rejection

Rejection can be educational, but when you heed what it’s trying to teach. Otherwise, you will likely just keep taking rejection all wrong. So what teachings have I learned?

{Here’s my advice|My recommendations|What